Pho-to Shoots: Paint Me Shocked!

Just as a note to whoever has not seen America's Next Top Model, and doesn't feel like sitting through a marathon, you can see more pho-tos on a few different sites: avapple@pixnet has pretty much every pho-to from all the shoots, but the site is in Chinese. Also, All-ANTM is an excellent site, that also has modeling pho-tos for the girls from outside the show. Just don't think that I'll 'critique' those shoots.

Cycle 2: The Colors of Temptation

Concept: This shoot is a bit of a conundrum for me. On the one hand, nothing screams 'fun + games for all!!' quite like stripping girls and guys naked, painting them up Adam-and-Eve style, and throwing them in front of a camera. On the other hand, nothing screams 'great contact lenses!!' like the above scenario, right? Right??? Whatever, B+
Composition: I could go on and on about the shitty makeup on the male models, or Looks of Utter Bewilderment (from here on, shortened to LoUB) on these girls, but who cares about them. On this shoot, the entire focus is placed on the girls' body paint, and for good reason: it's gorgeous! Seriously, I can't do justice to it in a single blog post alone, but check it out for yourself. A
Execution: Huh, what was this a pho-toshoot for, again? I was too entranced by the chain-snakes on Chainmail Girl's thigh. But don't think that's the only thing I'm dinging on this shoot. I was deprived of a potentially-beautiful body mural because a certain plus-sized model didn't wanna get nude, and I'm PISSED. C
Overall: It's all in the paint! A-

Cycle 8: The Colors of Cavities

Concept: Well, on the cover, it seems as though this shoot is just a slight retooling of the above shoot: they're still nude, with snakes replaced by sweet desserts, male models by giant ice cream popsicles, and this time, no backing from a sponsor. It should be fitting of the same grade as above, it would seem. B+
Composition: Oh hell no. This shoot is FAR worse, an example of everything that can go wrong with a shoot. I think I'll make a list to detail how bad this is:

1. The set LOOKS extremely cheap, with shag carpeting, spray-painted walls, and clearly-plastic props, usually where it serves no purpose.
2. The make-up, candy, syrup and whatever else is dripping off of these girls, drooling into a nasty mess.
3. The lighting in the background is fucked to all hell, expressedly because of the depths of the cheap box set.
   
4. And most profoundly, LoUB doesn't begin to describe the girls this time around; it's more like they're trying to be sexy/fierce while covered in gooey mess, and holding REAL ice cream, that's REALLY cold. And of course, failing miserably.

If you didn't guess already, this grade is an F.
Execution: Maybe I was a bit harsh on this shoot, but if I was, it's because I had high hopes for it. I'm a man with a sweet tooth, and I don't like watching sugary confections be tossed around and smeared any old way. As a concession, I'll say that there was at least one decent shot, so the shoot wasn't a TOTAL failure. D+
Overall: A sugar-filled mess, with a few edible pieces. D-