The first time around, this was a fun show with a flirty sense of camp style, with bright sets, Hair Witch Tabatha and her nemesis, Leprechaun Tyson, and of course, lots of bad hair from the limp, Viagra-free tendrils to the Tyra Banks 'Tyrone' Weave Collection. I prayed and prayed for a second season to tide me over between ANTM cycles, and from my lips to Bravo's ears... After seeing some of the cast revealed on Tom and Lorenzo's blog, I can't help but be excited and revved up to see if this crew can outdo Dr. Boogie's ego.
Ever since Ms. 54th + Crenshaw Saaphyri was crowned the winner of Charm School, and after the end of I Love New York 2, I mourned for the loss of many of our VH1 veterans; the viewers' loss, to be specific. But some inspired VH1 lackey managed to come up with a simple, yet ingenious idea: stick the Flavor/Rock of Love girls with the ILNY guys, and make them fight over a bunch of money. I vowed my allegiance to this as soon as Freaky Pumkin and Heather's tatters were announced as members of the cast, alongside anything with a Y chromosome, much less 12 Pack's magnetic body.
When this show was first announced, I was wary of it, mostly because of its choice of host/prize (I'm firmly on Team Nina!). But other than Anne 'Tootie' Slowey, this show seems like it has promise: it's a bunch of wannabe writers fighting for an assistant position at Elle(or something equally low on the pole), it's produced by Tyra and her crew, and there's bound to be at least one screeching howler monkey (male or female) for me to focus my lazers. Extra goodies: clips from the first episode!
Big Brother 10
This here is an odd entry. As a show, I can't bear to watch this on TV at all. I've never even given serious thought to buying a RealPass to watch the live feeds, and see these post-adolescents 'try' to minimize their embarrassing moments. But after a calendar year and two seasons of second-hand recaps of the borderline battery, verbal abuse, drunken revelry, and overall dehumanizing of the hamsters within the Big Brother walls, I think I might be ready to give the hamster cage a trial run. And if they let loose with enough production goofs and badly-covered production machinations, I might be addicted for life, God help me.
Project Runway 5 (and 6)
After the sponsor orgy of Season 4 and resultant super-orgasm that was Sister Christian's victory, can this show get any better? Maybe not, if Season 5 is rushed for July, and Season 6 is moving to Lifetime. But we'll see how our sweatshoppers adapt.To round out the list is the woman who I would describe as the patron saintess of reality television, Miss Tiffany 'New York Is In The Motherfucking House' Pollard. After a season and a half trying to chunk it up with Flavor Flav, and another two seasons of looking for love and boob-enhancing dresses on her own, she's finally found her One and Only (please? Our Patron Saintess must have Love). Now, it's time for her to tackle her original goal, and claim her destiny as some kind of legitimate actress. Whether or not she'll succeed is still up in the air, but we the trainwreck-viewing public will have front-row seats while she throws her new 'assets' and unique vocabulary around, and that's a pleasure I would never turn down.
Far off in the horizon, we'll have:
- Rock of Love Girls: Charm School - Another show I've been waiting for with bated breath -- but with Sharon Osbourne, and the possible return of Blowjob Brandi, the Barbie Twins, and Angelique??? Instant Classic.
- Reaper (the only non-reality show in the list) - Even though it's not slated to return until mid-season this fall, I felt it necessary to add this to the list. Between the twists and turns of figuring out our protagonist Sam's parentage, the compelling gaze of Ray Wise, aka The Devil, and imagining a drunken fling with Sock, my TV-soul belongs to this show!
- America's Next Top Model, Cycle 11 - Lastly, and gloriously. It feels like an eternity just waiting for pre-show pho-tos. September, here we come!
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